This week the trend was...

Seeing ... Sea otters play in Moss Landing.  Stars that are truly uncountable and a horizon that approaches forever in Big Sur.  All with friends from Santa Cruz.  :)

Hearing ... I stayed over on the top half of the bay on Saturday and woke up to a familiar sound that I hadn't heard in years: the birds.  Santa Cruz birds used to greet me every morning.  I was a naturalist at the time, so I paid attention. 

I would never have realized just how familiar that place is until I heard the birdsong...and recognized it.  Not the actual birds, I still suck at identification.  But the combinations, the species, they were right.  It was almost spooky to be able to recognize such a thing.  

In honor of birdsong, I suggest checking out this video. 

Tasting ... Bogle Vinyards Zinfandel.  I recommend it.  I usually don't like wine, but this is very tasty. 

Working ... Whew!  Grades were due this week, so I felt like I was herding cats to get my kids to make up all their work.  

Also, apparently I was unclear about something pretty fundamental in the lesson of "This Is How Grades Work".  I had a student say to me, in all seriousness: "What?  We have to turn stuff in to you in here?!"  The ridiculous part, to me, is that I have this student for both Geometry and Biology...somehow they totally spaced out on the class structures in both classes.  

Reading ... Time Magazine. The Surprising Science Of Animal Friendships.  It's the cover story this week. Check it out. 

Learning ... To make logistics part of my life.  I suppose that's what living intentionally is all about.  Specifically, if I want to eat food that I made, I have to be in a habit of making it and bringing it with me places.  I have to be in a habit of going to the grocery store.  It's not going to just happen. 

Generalizing to non-eating parts of my life.  What do I want to happen?  How can I make it easy for myself to do these things? 

Creating ... Man, creating has been rather thin for the past month or so.  The lace scarf is stalled (Lace is hard!  If you get off the pattern, it's hard to recover!) The craft supplies are sitting in the storage room.  Hmm...maybe creating needs to go on the front burner.  

This week's project.  Draw something.

Dreaming .... of solitude.  I am exhausted at this moment.  The adventures have been great (and I'm about to go out for more).  But I know that once I have a moment or two to myself, my soul is going to thank me. 

Pondering... A possible second dog in the house.  My roommate is thinking about adopting this darling puppy.  So cute!

Monterey Bay Aquarium

Seeing ... the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  Rockfish and jellies and otters, oh my!  


My folks came down last weekend and took me out to the aquarium as a late Christmas present.  That place is magical.  

Hearing ...   Wilco Summerteeth.  Normally, the jam bands just don't do it for me, but Wilco... Wilco is amazing. 

Tasting ... Pizza delivery and a 2-liter of soda.  This week was one of those crazy busy tired weeks that you just need to celebrate the end of with junk food and soda that rots your teeth.  

Working ... hard.  I complain about this enough in real life.  Nuff said here. 


I keep thinking "Maybe I should keep working at my school site next year.  After all, I'm getting used to it, I'm learning how to do things...." 


Then my face lights up when I talk about middle schoolers or santa cruz and I know that I need to suck it up and follow my bliss, as they say.  It's hard to commit to finding a new, unknown job when your current one just got relatively manageable.  

Reading ... Rick Morris' website.  I thought his seminar would be super cheesy when I heard about it (and, let's be honest, when a coworker that I don't really get along with was espousing his strategies), but his seminar was surprisingly helpful.  Practical teaching strategies that I can use on Monday, and that I can picture in action are the kind of thing that makes a professional development worth the time. 

If you teach and, like me, struggle with disorganization or spend hours thinking "How do I solve this recurring problem?", I recommend checking him out.  

Now, I'm reading his website with more of his good stuff.

Learning ... about color-coding. 


About blood types.  It's amazing what you can forget in the year it's been since I last taught this stuff. 

Creating ... Better grade folders for my class. 


Time to climb.  Time to run.  Time to hang out with monterey people.

Dreaming ... of running this.  I don't know if I'll be able to train up for it, but the sun is starting to stay up longer.  Spring is just around the corner, and that means its time for training.  I love how training makes my body feel.  

Pondering... a friend's comment that "Teaching is a lifestyle."  

I always want to guard myself from thinking "I am a teacher" as opposed to "I teach" or "I work as a teacher".  I feel that listing "teacher" as a part of your identity leads directly to evaluative statements such as "I am a good teacher" or "I am a bad teacher".  One is judgmental and the other is self-depreciating.  Neither is healthy.  


But...teaching does take over your life.  It's been a challenge this week to talk about other things than my job.  And maybe I should stop denying that this sprawl-over is real.  I'm not sure yet. 

Sunsets, Bikes, Birds, and High School

Seeing ... The  full moon in the sunrise and sunset.  This week's twilights were beautiful.  And I was especially happy to get home before dark.  That hasn't happened in about a month, it seems.  

Hearing ...   Flocks of birds feeding on the lawn outside my classroom.  

Tasting ... '08 Zinfandel at the Pierce Tasting Room on Cannery Row.  I love that I know about this place because my bible study leader works there.  Last night, the band was latin, the place was packed, and the Zin was tangy and delicious. 

Working ... Back at High School.  I have to say, I was not looking forward to going back.  I was expecting it to be like last quarter: out of energy and out of ideas.  But it was different, somehow.  It seemed like a fresh start for me and my students. I got to teach genetics (a fun subject I've taught before!). We switched seats and students turned quiet. It was nice. 

I could finally see how it could be. You know, once the first year is over. 

I've also been working on my bike with T, my bible study leader's housemate.  I remembered how much fun it was to mechanic an old bike into great shape.  We pumped up the tires, tightened up the brakes, changed out some cable housing, Now my peugeot rides like a dream.  


It may also have been a fake date.  You know, the ones right after you meet someone where you're feeling them out to see if you want to date them for real or not.  This one, while pretty fun, just reminded me how there's so much more to compatibility than common interests. And that, next time I date someone for real, I don't want to feel awkward because of my beliefs or outlook on life.  


So, apparently, I became one of those single girls who thinks about getting/having a boy all the time...when did that happen?

Reading ... Persuasion, by Jane Austen.  It's slow going so far. 

Learning ... That planning ahead and thinking deeply about what my students need to be successful really does make a difference. I did this week last year for PACT (a huge project...you pass PACT, you pass student teaching.)  I spent so much time planning and analyzing this week of instruction.  I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised that it actually worked out, but so few things do.  

Creating ...  This lace scarf.  It's tough!  I've already ripped out about a third of my knitting.  I keep ending up with the wrong amount of stitches, even though I'm being super methodical about following the pattern.  At this rate, it'll be done just about the time the weather warms up.  

Dreaming ... of climbing trips and runs in the sun.  It's been so nice outside lately that it makes me think it might be warm enough to run in the mornings again. :)  


Pondering... Model-Based Reasoning and Activity Before Content.  I've been so unsuccessful at using these strategies this year.  But they work so dang well.  My students totally "get it".  They are assigning alleles to pedigrees based on laws of inheritance.  They figured out how to do this themselves, and they are ready for vocab next week. 


It feels so nice to feel successful.  Sucking at teaching was bringing me down, hard core. 

The List Update

4. Drink Echinacia Green Tea in December.

Ok, so it was organic throat coat tea.  It made me warm on the inside.  Totally counts.  

5. Hike a day hike in Big Sur.

Fall Break was awesome.  Me, The Dad, and The Dog headed out to Big Sur's Sykes Hot Springs. The Dog had the time of her life, Me and The Dad got really sore walking the 10 miles to the springs.  Then soothed our aching muscles in the sulfuric water.  

And The Dog only gave me a little bit of poison oak.  So...super successful. 

7. Live in Seaside with Sandra. Done. Nuff Said.

8. Stay in touch.  Swap stories.

This may be my favorite of all of my entries on the list.  Swapping stories on purpose has made me appreciate old friends and important relationships.  Thanksgiving and Christmas break have been especially full of coffee and catching up.  Thank you friends, for letting me in after all this time. 

10. Spend a weekend on nothing but guilty pleasures.

Dollhouse, anyone?  Thank you to Amanda for introducing me to another great story from Joss.  Gotta love giving yourself permission to wake up, turn on netflix, only leave the couch to eat and pee, go to sleep, repeat.  In another life, I could have totally been a video gamer.  

12. Share stories with Dad on purpose.

See #8.

13. Make cookies, bread &/or pies.

Mixed berry pie.  Like this one, but with frozen berries and ready-made crust and taken from a stained page from Mom's Betty Crocker cookbook she got as a wedding present.  (Eaten on Dollhouse-weekend for maximum list-related goodness.)

Cookies.  With a few changes:  Instead of nuts, add a quarter cup of quick oats, which make the cookies turn out super soft.  Also, use milk chocolate chips, not semi sweet.  Lastly, add in some cinnamon.  Enjoy with a scotch and water for maximum chocolate flavor goodness. 

Seriously, try it.  It's amazing. 

15. Play Guitar.  I'm learning alternate tunings.  

17. Go see live music. 

December was a blur of the rock-star lifestyle. Thanks to Annette for taking me to see Green Day, and The National.   

18. Take The Dog running & to the dog park.

This was a regular routine until I discovered that Monterey is really, really cold in the pre-dawn.  I'm hoping to start this back up in a couple of months when the sun comes back.  Until then, it's walks to the beach on the weekend.  

19. Find 5 "locals spots" in Monterey.  Hang out at each of them 5 times.

This has been a challenge, as there's not too much "hanging out" in Seaside. So far I've found: The Alternative Cafe, Sanctuary Rock Gym, Noodle Bar, and La Tortuga*.  Yum.

20. Teach The Dog 3 new tricks. 

Tricks mastered: Sit, Down, Hips, Stay (1 minute, out of sight), Dance, Wait For Me To Open The Door, Stay In The Back Seat Of The Car, Wait For Me Quietly Outside The Coffee Shop, Drop (the ball), Where's Your Toy?, Tug, Fetch

Next Up: Stop Jumping, Stop Whining, Heel

21. Go on 3 overnight backpack trips. 

One Down.  See # 5. 

23. Learn to love High School students.

Ok, this one is proving a challenge.  But I can honestly say that though I will never love all High School Students, I do love Some High School Students.  Like The Human Calculator in my math class.  She was discussing changing schedules to a more advanced class, but then changed her mind because, "I wouldn't be able to help Michelle and Ann**."  A Freshman concerned about other people?  This girl is one in a million. 

26. Take a road trip.

Road trip to Escondido!  Not only did I get to hang out with and bond with The Brother, but we toured the Stone Brewing Company, Got a Tattoo, and had a deep talk with Amanda, who graciously let us stay at her house.  Success!  

27. Go rock climbing 12 times. 

Currently at 6 times.  For first year teaching, I think this qualifies as "pretty good".

Still to come:  

Running a 10k. 

Snowshoeing in the mountains.

Going to Yosemite.  Climbing Half Dome.

Community Plays.

Sketching.

Massages. 

Care Packages. 

Bike Trips. 

Are you someone who does one or some of these things?  Would you like to adventure? How is your summer looking? 

*As in: "I'm making a budget. Where does all my money currently go?  ...Oh. It goes to La Tortuga." 

**Fake Names, real statement.

Lessons from 2011

1. Be Intentional.
"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." - Dolly Pardon

Companies are intentional - they spend the time and effort necessary to make it easy for you to consume their product.  I should, in an ideal world, also spend the time and effort necessary to make it easy for me to do and be and use and contribute to the things I want to be about.

So far, this has meant:
- a budget (Holy Intentional, Batman!)
- cooking at home
- learning objectives and lesson planning
- weekly routines

More to come in 2011:
- better lesson planning
- framework and habits for staying in touch with friends (see lesson 2)

2. Community is important.
I feel that I am living through the consequences of a poor decision - moving to Monterey.  I didn't know teachers spent so much time alone.  I didn't realize I'd be so isolated in Seaside.  I expected to find more community, and its lack is showing itself.

Jesus, I pray for community this next semester.  I need it.  We need it.  It's tough without it.

3. Cooking is awesome.  
It can be normal and delicious.  I don't have to live on the edge of convenience store hunger.  Awesome.

4. Consistency is more effective than harshness.
I've seen both, I've done both.  I hope to be more consistent with my students next semester.  Which leads to:

5. I should not teach High School.  
Yes, we've confirmed this.  Again.  I'm pretty discouraged, don't like my job, and mostly feel incompetent at it.  I'm turning into an unsatisfied and unpleasant person.  I can't keep doing this but I don't know how to change it at this point in the year.

My goal is teaching Middle School next year.  I hope that helps.  I hope I'm not just deluding myself into thinking "the next thing will be better".  I hope my not just remembering my amazing student teaching students and thinking all students are like that. I hope I feel better next year when I get a different job, but I have no control over that either.

Jesus, I need you to take care of me.  I have an idea that I need to change grade levels, and I hope it's right.  Mostly, I need you to change me.  Please help me get through this next semester and move on.

6. Boyfriends who do not love Jesus are not worth it. 
A larger issue of non-compatible boyfriends, I would also say.  With Fitz, ultimately, I was unhappy for months (and so was he), he was always pushing my boundaries, and I did not want to be part of his family.  Next boyfriend goes through friend-approval and gets prayed about. (And gets prayed with!  How awesome would that be?)

So, on the very top of the list for the next one: Loves Jesus.

7. A walk with God is irreplaceable. 
I thank God for giving me mononucleosis.  Last year I was crazy busy, had next to no community, and my walk with God was dry as a desert.  I remember getting an email from a few old friends with "life updates" and breaking down crying because I missed them, and more importantly, missed that time of my life.  God had seemed present at that point in my life.  I'd been waiting around to feel like that again for a very long while.

Then I got mono.  I had to stop.  Everything.  I laid in bed for 3 weeks.  Somehow, I'm not sure how, but God met me there.  The sense of his presence returned.  Thank you, Jesus, for not letting me live without that any longer.

Twas the Week Before Christmas

Seeing ... Christmas.  The decorations are up, and the lights are out.  Candy Cane lanes are in full swing. (And btw, Rancho Cordova's lights look way better than Pacific Grove's.) Tanya and Doug even came down last weekend and experienced this scary robot nutcracker with me.  

I've been seeing lots of santa-themed commercials lately while sitting down to knit last-minute gifts. You know, the ones where the Mom Of The Family is competing with Santa for the best gifts, then Santa gets completely befuzzled at the end of the commercial. It strikes me that Santa's omni-presence at Christmas is such a reflection of our culture.  He's one of the only non-religious symbols of Christmas, so he can satisfy both the War on Christmas People and the I Don't Really Go In For Organized Religion people.  And, best of all, he gives gifts.  In our culture, that means shopping for gifts.  As in Santa shops at Target - you should too!

This just seems wrong,  For one, Santa makes his gifts.  He works on them all year around, like how my Grandma does it. Neither Santa nor Grandma will be haunting the mall on the crabbiest shopping days of the year. I know this is how we do Christmas in America, but maybe let's do it differently. Let's be intentional, let's set out on January 1st to give/make gifts for our loved ones.  One year, my church challenged us to commit to buying only fair trade gifts for Christmas - that was awesome.  If only the fair trade people had as much airtime as the big-box retailers.  That would be amazing.  

Tasting ... Tortilla soup.  My favorite part was frying up the tortillas that become the crispy chips you put on top.  I've never made chips before.  Who could have guessed that it's so easy?

Hearing ...  Christmas music.  Somehow, it doesn't bug me as much as it normally does.  Maybe I'm in a better place, maybe there's less of it, maybe there's better quality.  

Working ... on grades and knitting a few gifts.  The grading program at school has been on the fritz (as has my motivation to do anything school-related), but I've been dutifully plugging away at it.  

This is one of the first times I've knitted something for someone else. Usually, I'm a very selfish knitter: I made it, I wear it.  If you want one, you should make it yourself.  It's kind of a nice experience to craft something for someone else. It feels special. 

Reading ... Facebook updates.  My new phone arrived last Saturday (a christmas gift from Mom and Dad - thanks guys!). It's so addicting to check facebook every day, every hour, every minute.  

Learning ... To teach. My students have been working on their finals, which were way too hard for them.  I told them I'd curve the Biology final and my curve was set at 83%.  Most students got somewhere in the 60's.  I suppose that's what curves are for. 

As always, I'm already thinking what will be different next time.  Next semester, it's 50 questions, not 100.  50 focused questions.  Ideally, taken from each of the tests leading up to it, not some random ones from another teacher that I feel I should use because the Biology department's supposed to have common assessments. 

Dreaming ... of San Diego.  The road trip is a go.  The rental car is reserved, plans are being made.  I can't wait for the sun.  I can't wait to visit the zoo.  I can't wait to hang out with Amanda for a whole week.  I'm very excited. 

Creating ...  a semester of curriculum.  Next semester, I want to be way more organized. No more of this deer-in-the-headlights, oh crap what are we doing tomorrow. If I can be focused on break, I'm planning all my labs, major assignments, and tests during break. Will plans change?  Of course.  Will this seem like a bad idea at the end of the semester?  I'm sure - everything I try seems to need about 4 more revisions.  But I'm starting somewhere, right?

Pondering... Now, normally, I'm kind of a scrooge about Christmas.  I blame the long nights and cold days. This year, though, it all doesn't seem so bad.  Which is nice - it bodes well for the coming winter.  The past 3 winters have been hard times, lonely times, lost times, times I felt I was loosing my self.  Thanks be to God for feeling normal instead.  

Weekly Stories

Seeing ... The ocean from my classroom and remembering that I live in a beautiful place. 

Molly wag her tail every morning when I finally wake up.  (To play with her, of course!)

The fog envelop the Monterey Peninsula, from the viewpoint of Cowell's beach in Santa Cruz yesterday. 

Russian Orthodox church services.  What an experience: almost 100% in Russian, in a completely ornate tiny church building.  I stood in my spot not understanding a thing that was going on, watching the priest bless the Eucharist, studying the paintings on every section of ceiling.  I was glad to check it out with my friend Tanya...from now on, I think I'll stick to churches in English.

More friends!  Thank you Ryan and Tanya, for brunch at Amy's Cafe.  

Hearing ...   More concerts! Last weekend, it was The National and Iron & Wine.  This weekend, it was Not So Silent Night, a radio station concert I watched from the nosebleeds of the Oracle Arena. Mumford and Sons were amazing, as were Florence and the Machine. The best part about this show?  When one of their acts had to cancel, and were replaced with slightly older versons of these guys.  My thanks to Annette for a great show and for going to so much music with me.  You support my live music addiction.  

Tasting ... Lentils & Rice with Ginger Sesame Sauce; Quinoa with Kale and Veggie Sausage; Friend Rice; and Pesto Pasta.  Fresh Fruit all week for snacks at work.  Inspired by my hippie friends Ryan and Kat, I tried cooking at home this week, and completely loved it. I am so proud of my eating habits this week.  Seriously, I never eat this well.  

Working ... On a budget.  I know, it's crazy that I don't have one, right?  My hippie friends Ryan and Kat again inspired me with their simple life and intentional ways.  Their food-on-a-budget scheme worked so well for me that I'm expanding it this week to life-on-a-budget. 

It's hard work!  What do I spend money on and what should I spend money on? boils down to What is important and what isn't important? I feel both vastly behind on this project and like I'm ahead of the game for the first time in a long while.  

Reading ... Romans.   

"So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Learning ... To teach in not-my-classroom.  Me and my students have been in the library this week, as my classroom is a cool 52 degrees and the library is toasty.  We need the warmth!  The change of place, however, means re-training students for a new environment. They're at tables instead of desks; there's no "front of the class", there's nothing posted that belongs to only our classes.  I am learning how much each of these things really helps me and helps them. 

Creating ...  Google Docs and organization schemes.  My classroom is horribly disorganized.  I get so embarrassed by how often I loose student's papers!  (Granted: 10-ish/195 for a whole semester is a pretty good average, but still.  I want it down to 0/195.) I've been creating organization schemes for next semester.  Starting next semester, I'm going to have a turn-in box!  A Pass-Back Papers Box!  A File of Old Copies!  A Procedure for Make Up Work!  A Crate For Extra Tests!  All My Labs Organized!  More Materials In My Room!  

Yes, these are grand schemes, which may take me more than the allotted one teacher work day over break.  We'll see.  

I also have been creating Google Docs for all my teaching documents: tests, handouts, worksheets, etc.  I really want to use this for all of them -- I'll keep it with me and be able to search for all my docs when I get back next year.  I have a dream of creating all my lesson plans for the next quarter over the break, using & showing them in class, and posting them online.  If I can be this awesome, it will totally rule.  Right now, we're in the planning phase. 

Dreaming ... Of a kick-ass vacation out of the country.  I put vacation savings in the budget.  So now I get to daydream about where I will go in a couple years.  I'm thinking Taize in France or a backpack trip through Peru.  I've heard good things about these places. 

Pondering... An Intentional Life.  In creating the budget, I've been looking at my bank statements and asking, "Where did I spend all my money?"  I quickly discovered that, if I eat out all the time, my money goes to La Tortuga instead of the things I value, like to my church or to saving for camping equipment.  I didn't think about where it was all going, so of course it went to random snacks when I was hungry.  

It's stressful to write a budget.  What if I fail? What if I can't get by on that?  Holy crap, how come the expenses I've been spending are greater than my income?  However, it was pointed out to me that the beauty of a budget is you get to think about where the money goes, you get to spend it on something you think is important.  If I save for a vacation, I know that I'll get to go on a kick-ass vacation in a few years.  If I save for a car, I know that I'll be able to comfortably buy a car in a few years.  

I know this must be obvious to everyone else who's been doing budgets, but it amazed me that I hadn't thought like this.  I just kinda hoped that I'd be able to save a pot of money at the end of the month and then blow it all on something cool. That's like how my students study - they just kinda hope they remember something.   Of course that didn't work. 

So after the stress has gone down, I'm still thinking What do I think is important? What do I want to make sure my money is used for? What will I make sure I have incorporated into the logistics of my life? 

Which raises the larger question of intentional living.  What is important in my life?  If delicious food is of value, I should make it on a regular basis. If keeping in touch with my friends even though we live far apart is of value, I should write stories on my blog and call them. If my dog is valuable, I should take her on more walks and watch a little less TV. I'm pondering what I want to do and what I actually do and how to budget my activities as well as my money.  

I'm also pondering how to do this a little at a time so it sticks.  I know me - I get overwhelmed quite easily.  So for this week, it's cooking food and sticking to a budget.